Thank you to my talented friend Tania Gonzalez for these wonderful photographs! Check out her collection of work out at T92photography.com. Her confidence with the camera has made me strive for confidence, both in myself and my work.
Photos, in a way, are manipulated reality. I needed to see myself for who I have become, and give the lens over to someone else. My last head shots were taken before I graduated high school. It was time for something new. I wanted to update my social networking profiles. Profile–even that word suggests a created version of myself. Nonetheless, I had been holding on to what I used to look like with the old photos I used on my profiles.
I started changing my profile picture to what you see above as soon as I came back from Fiji, and it was good to have all these “unedited” versions of myself. I looked truly happy. Even in these photos, I managed to look more like the girl from the past.
But the few months following these photos have taken a toll on my physical body, and I was not comfortable seeing myself in a photo because I felt ashamed of the weight I had gained back. Yes, I am still struggling to stick to what I wrote in this apology note to my body last year and consequently, my health has been at the bottom of my priority list.
I can’t make any promises, but I will make an effort to look beyond my past and into the future to better care for my body, mind and soul. I will make an effort to remind myself daily that I am enough and that my beauty comes from within. These photos are not posted to be vain, but to extend myself grace online and offline. I wanted to share because I for once see myself the way many of you me, and most importantly, the way God sees me.